Feeling Stuck at Work? Why It Happens and 2 Ways Out

If you’re feeling stuck at work, be careful. You might be in a mindset called learned helplessness.

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Learned helplessness is the opposite of personal accountability. It’s what happens when you come to believe your actions no longer have any impact on your outcomes. So you start thinking, “Why try anyway?”

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The good news is that it’s learned, which means it can be unlearned. Here’s how to spot it, and two things you can do today to get unstuck.

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The short answer: Feeling stuck at work often comes from learned helplessness, the belief that nothing you do will make a difference. To get out of it, turn helpless questions into accountable ones by starting with “What can I do…?” Then wrap whatever is blocking you in two words: “Given that…” Both moves shift you from feeling stuck to taking action.

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What learned helplessness sounds like at work

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You’ve probably heard it in a meeting. You may have even said it yourself:

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• “That’s the way we’ve always done it.”
• “I brought that up back in 2005, and it didn’t go well, so I never brought it up again.”
• “Who thought of this?”
• “Why doesn’t anybody tell me anything?”

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Each of these is a sign that we, or our teams, have slipped into learned helplessness. Somewhere along the way we decided our effort doesn’t count, so we stopped spending it.

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That’s where the stuck feeling comes from. It isn’t that nothing can change. It’s that we’ve stopped believing we can change it.

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Way out #1: Reframe the question

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Take one of those questions: “Why doesn’t anyone tell me anything?”

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Notice how helpless it feels. Nobody gives me information, so I can’t affect anything. The question itself puts all the power somewhere else.

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Here’s the reframe:

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1. Start with “who” or “what.”

2. Add the word “I.” This is the accountability piece, because learned helplessness is the opposite of accountability.

3. Finish the question.

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So “Why doesn’t anyone tell me anything?” becomes “What can I do to get the information I need?”

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Now reflect on it. Come up with three things you could do. All of a sudden, you’re on your way.

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That one question moves you out of the helpless zone and into the space of impact. It frees you up.

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Way out #2: Start with “Given that”

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Let’s say I need something to keep my project moving, and I’m not getting the information I need.

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My two favorite words for this moment are “Given that.”

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“Given that I don’t currently have the information I need, what could I do to get it?”

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“Given that” accepts the reality without arguing with it. It doesn’t waste energy on how things should be. It starts from where things are and points you straight at your next move.

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It works for almost anything that has you stuck. Wrap the challenge in “Given that,” then ask:

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• What could I do to help?
• What could I do to impact this?

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Then wait a moment. Self-reflection will lead you to your next right action. And make sure you take it.

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Getting unstuck starts with one question

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Feeling stuck at work isn’t a life sentence. It’s a mindset, and mindsets can change.

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1. Reframe the question. Swap “Why doesn’t anyone…” for “What can I do to…”

2.Start with “Given that.” Accept the reality, then ask what you could do about it.

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You’ll be amazed how quickly you get your impact back.

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Want more tools for building accountability and ditching the drama at work? My new book, How We Could, is a national bestseller. Follow me on LinkedIn, Instagram, and TikTok for new ones every week.

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Frequently asked questions

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Why do I feel stuck at work?

Often it’s learned helplessness: after past efforts didn’t pay off, you’ve come to believe your actions don’t affect your outcomes. That belief leads you to stop trying, which keeps you stuck.

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What is learned helplessness in the workplace?

Learned helplessness at work is the belief that nothing you do will change your results. It shows up in phrases like “That’s the way we’ve always done it” or “I tried that once and it didn’t work.” It’s the opposite of personal accountability.

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How do I get out of learned helplessness?

Reframe helpless questions so they start with “who” or “what” and include “I.” For example, “Why doesn’t anyone tell me anything?” becomes “What can I do to get the information I need?” Then list three actions and take one.

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What does “given that” mean in leadership?

“Given that” is a way of accepting your current reality before deciding what to do. For example: “Given that I don’t have the information I need, what could I do to get it?” It keeps you focused on action instead of on how things should be.

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Who is Alex Dorr?

Alex Dorr is a leadership expert, CEO of Reality-Based Leadership, and author of the national bestseller How We Could. He teaches leaders and teams how to eliminate workplace drama and get back to doing great work.