5 Leadership Myths You Need to Unlearn to Be Successful

There’s a lot of conventional wisdom in leadership. You hear it in meetings, at conferences, in management books. Most of it sounds right.

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But I like to put it to one test: Does this belief reduce drama at work, or does it create more of it?

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When you run the most common leadership advice through that filter, a lot of it doesn’t hold up. Here are five myths the world’s best leaders don’t fall for.

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The short answer: The five leadership myths to unlearn are that change is hard, that you can motivate another person, that you must always ask the people closest to the work before deciding, that everyone needs to be on board before you move forward, and that innovation comes from thinking outside the box. Each one sounds helpful but often slows teams down and adds drama.

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Myth #1: Change at work is hard

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Here’s the reality: change isn’t hard. Change is only hard for the unready.

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When I’m not ready for what’s next, I only have one option, and that’s to resist. Change threatens to expose me as not yet capable of what the business needs now. So I push back, and I call it “change is hard.”

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The best leaders don’t spend their energy making change easier. They spend it making people ready.

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Myth #2: You can motivate another person

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I hear it all the time: “We need a motivational speaker. Our team needs inspiration.”

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Here’s what I’ve learned from the stage. I can give the same keynote to 100 people. Fifty leave motivated, and fifty don’t. It’s the same talk.

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Motivation is an inside job. You can’t motivate another person. What you can do is create the conditions and call people to greatness. Whether they answer is up to them.

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Myth #3: Always ask the people closest to the work before making a decision

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I see the benefit of this sometimes. But often, when you ask, people choose their preference and their comfort zone over the potential of the business.

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They’ll pick what’s familiar over a proven best practice that’s working somewhere else, one you could bring into your organization. Input is valuable. Just don’t let it automatically outvote what the business needs.

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Myth #4: We need everyone on board and skilled before we move forward

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So often we slow change down for the most resistant people. Meanwhile, our visionaries are ready to go.

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Your early adopters don’t want you to re-explain it. They don’t want to hear the “why” statement one more time, or to slow down for the people holding things back. They want to prove it’s possible.

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So let them. Show what happens, then bring everyone else forward. Don’t slow change down for the most unwilling.

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Myth #5: Innovation comes from thinking outside the box

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This one might get a little touchy, but here goes: innovation comes from thinking inside the box.

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Here’s how it works:

1. Put the goal at the top. What are we trying to achieve?

2. Name the real constraints. Is it budget? Resources? Regulations? Time?

3. Ask for every idea inside the box. “Given our goal, and given these real challenges, I want all your ideas.”

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If you take action on any of those ideas and they move you toward the goal, you’ve broken through. You’ve innovated within the reality you actually have, not the one you wish you had.

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Unlearning is a leadership skill

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These are five of mine. Each one sounds like good leadership, and each one quietly adds drama when you follow it without questioning it.

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The best leaders don’t just learn new ideas. They’re willing to unlearn the old ones. What leadership myths would you add to the list?

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Want more tools for ditching the drama and leading at your best? My new book, How We Could, is a national bestseller. Follow me on LinkedIn, Instagram, and TikTok for new ones every week.

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Frequently asked questions

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What are the biggest leadership myths?

Five common ones: change is hard, you can motivate another person, you must always ask the people closest to the work before deciding, everyone must be on board before moving forward, and innovation comes from thinking outside the box.

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Is change really hard?

Change is only hard for people who aren’t ready for it. When someone isn’t prepared for what’s next, resisting feels like their only option. Leaders who focus on building readiness see far less resistance.

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Can a leader motivate their team?

No. Motivation is an internal choice. The same speech can leave half an audience motivated and half unmoved. Leaders can create the right conditions and set clear expectations, but each person decides whether to engage.

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Should leaders wait for everyone to buy in before making a change?

Not usually. Waiting for the most resistant people slows down the ones who are ready. A better approach is to let early adopters move first, prove the change works, and then bring everyone else along.

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What is “thinking inside the box”?

It’s an approach to innovation that starts with a clear goal and the real constraints, such as budget, resources, or regulations. Teams then generate every idea they can within those limits. Any idea that moves the goal forward counts as a breakthrough.

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Who is Alex Dorr?

Alex Dorr is a leadership expert, CEO of Reality-Based Leadership, and author of the national bestseller How We Could. He teaches leaders and teams how to eliminate workplace drama and get back to doing great work.