Stop Fighting These 3 Things That Would Help You at Work

Let’s talk about three things people fight at work that would actually help them.

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I see it all the time. We push back hardest on the very things designed to make our work easier, and then we wonder why every day feels like a battle.

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The short answer: Three things people fight at work that would actually help them are unpreferred realities, standardized processes, and change. Instead of resisting, use “Given that…” to work with your reality, say yes to a good-enough process, and stay ready for what’s next. Each one frees you up for higher-value work.

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1. Stop arguing with unpreferred realities

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When circumstances get challenging, you’re in what I call an unpreferred reality. It’s not the situation you’d choose.

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That’s exactly where most people step down into what I call the BMW drive: they blame, moan, and whine about the situation.

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But here’s what so many people miss. An unpreferred reality is where humans add value. If reality were perfect, there would be nothing for us to contribute. The messy, imperfect situation is your opportunity to step up, and it shows up every single day.

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Here’s the technique to stop fighting it: start with “Given that,” then name the unpreferred reality.

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“Given that I have an email without all the information I need, what would great look like?”

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Great would be having the information. So what else could I try?

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Just roll with it. Pick up the phone. Call the person. Boom, you’ve got the information.

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2. Stop fighting standardization and new processes

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If you want results that are repeatable and sustainable, results you can count on, you get them through good processes.

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Your team might be rolling out new software, a checklist, or a best practice. It’s designed to help you work efficiently and free you up for higher-level work.

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But so often, here’s what I hear:

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“Yeah, I know that’s worked in a thousand other companies, but we’re kind of special over here on the third floor. Do we really need to follow that process?”

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What happens next? A different process on every floor. No standardization, so the business can’t scale. Then come the manual workarounds and the diving catches, and the day gets really hard.

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My recommendation: say yes to a good-enough process. Say, “I’m doing it.” Do it as well as you can, and free yourself up for higher-level work.

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And please don’t choose your personal preference over the potential of the business.

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3. Stop resisting change

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For the most part, change is going to help us modernize and do things more efficiently in the future.

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When you resist change, you start to fall behind, and soon it affects your performance. Here’s how that happens:

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1. You resist change, so you become unready for what’s next.

2. Being unready leaves you only one option: resisting more of the change as the business evolves.

3. Work gets tougher, and you can’t respond the way the business needs.

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It’s a cycle, and the only way out is to stop fighting and start getting ready.

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Say yes and free yourself up

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These are the three things I see people fighting right now, and you might be fighting them too:

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1. Unpreferred realities: Use “Given that…” and look for what you can do.

2. New processes: Say yes to good enough and free yourself for higher-level work.

3. Change: Stay ready for what’s next instead of falling behind.

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Say yes to these three, and I promise things will free up for you.

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Want more tools for ditching the drama at work? My new book, How We Could, is a national bestseller. Follow me on LinkedIn, Instagram, and TikTok for new ones every week.

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Frequently asked questions

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What is an unpreferred reality?

An unpreferred reality is a situation at work you wouldn’t choose, like missing information, tight deadlines, or tough circumstances. It’s also where people add the most value, because a perfect situation would need no one to step up.

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What does “BMW Driving” mean in the workplace?

BMW Driving stands for Blaming, Moaning, and Whining Driving . It’s the drama people fall into when they argue with an unpreferred reality instead of looking for what they can do about it.

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Why should I follow a new process at work if the old way works for me?

Standardized processes create results that are repeatable and scalable. When every team uses its own version, the business can’t scale and people end up making manual workarounds. Saying yes to a good-enough process frees you up for higher-level work.

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Why do people resist change at work?

People often resist change because they aren’t ready for it. Resisting makes them even less ready for what comes next, which leads to more resistance and, eventually, falling behind.

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Who is Alex Dorr?

Alex Dorr is a leadership expert, CEO of Reality-Based Leadership, and author of the national bestseller How We Could. A Certified Speaking Professional, he delivers keynotes and workshops that help leaders and teams eliminate workplace drama and get back to doing great work.