EPISODE
115: What Would Great Look Like? One Question to Stop Drama in 10 Seconds or Less
Are you or your team stuck in frustration when things go wrong — blaming circumstances, venting, or spiraling instead of moving forward?
In this episode of the Reality-Based Leadership Podcast, Alex Dorr shares the single most powerful coaching question every leader should have in their back pocket: What would great look like? It sounds simple. But used at the right moment, it can shift someone from full-blown drama mode to clear, accountable action in seconds.
Alex takes you behind the scenes of a real event-day crisis — a billing error, a leader on the verge of a meltdown, and a colleague who chose to coach instead of fix, and breaks down exactly why this question works, when to use it, and how to make it land.
If you're a leader, manager, or team member who wants to stop spinning in frustration and start adding value in messy moments, this episode gives you exactly what you need. Because the goal isn't a perfect reality. It's knowing what great looks like, and choosing to go be it.
Episode Highlights:
00:01:12 - The one coaching question every leader needs
00:01:27 - The three ways to ask it
00:02:04 - The certification event story begins
00:03:20 - The billing error crisis
00:04:15 - Spiraling into low self
00:05:31 - The colleague who coached instead of fixed
00:06:25 - Why relationship matters before using this question
00:06:44 - The question lands — and shifts everything
00:08:17 - "Sounds like you already know what great looks like"
00:09:15 - Why typical "got a minute?" meetings cost you more
00:10:13 - Accountability after the moment passes
00:11:40 - Why this is the most powerful coaching question
00:12:09 - Low self vs. high self explained
00:14:08 - How the question moves us from ego to self-reflection
00:15:49 - Using it on yourself when you want to disengage
00:16:16 - Why fixers and over-functioners need this question most
00:18:49 - We all already know what great looks like
00:19:33 - Your assignment and takeaways
Latest episodes
123: How We Could Book Series Part 3: Leadership Tools to Coach Your Team to Accountability
Get your copy of How We Could for you and your teams today at:
Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/How-Could-Framework-Alignment-Greatness/dp/B0GRWV76P5
Barnes & Noble - https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-we-could-alex-dorr/1149680412?ean=9798886455168&utm_source=website&utm_medium=book_page&utm_campaign=how_we_could&utm_content=barnesandnoble
Bookshop.org - https://bookshop.org/p/books/how-we-could-the-framework-to-lead-without-drama-build-alignment-and-call-teams-to-greatness-alex-dorr/d73c23906d4a61a0?ean=9798886455168&next=t?utm_source=website&utm_medium=book_page&utm_campaign=how_we_could&utm_content=bookshop
Books-A-Million - https://www.booksamillion.com/p/How-We-Could/Alex-Dorr/9798886455168?utm_content=bookshop
Here is a link to the tools mentioned in this podcast:
SBAR tool - https://info.realitybasedleadership.com/tool
Thinking Inside-the-Box tool - https://info.realitybasedleadership.com/box
Negative Brainstorming tool - https://youtu.be/AV6n69QCVnY?si=q7r_pglJsatIb-l2
Or grab all of the Toolkit tutorial videos, PDF and the new Call to Greatness Toolkit that accompanies the book here:
https://info.realitybasedleadership.com/greatness
In Part 3 of his How We Could Book Club Podcast Series, Alex Dorr shares his favorite quotes, insights, and lessons from the final section of his new book. In this episode, you'll learn three tools that help your team move forward productively even when facing resistance to change and uncertainty. It's a motivating listen for anyone looking to lead their team differently through ambiguity.
Episode Highlights:
00:01:25 - How the book took three years and is packed with real case studies
00:02:10 - Recap: the three parts of How We Could (loving up, calling up, answering the call)
00:04:26 - Introducing Part 3: answering the call to greatness
00:04:51 - Why fear is what really holds people back from taking action
00:07:07 - The three tools for next right action: SBAR, thinking inside the box, negative brainstorming
00:10:34 - When to use each tool
00:13:39 - Deep dive: how the SBAR cuts down workplace drama
00:19:30 - Deep dive: why "thinking inside the box" drives real innovation
00:22:39 - Deep dive: negative brainstorming and the Dr. Smith story
00:27:06 - Wrapping up Part 3 and celebrating the book launch
122: How We Could Book Series Part 2 - Calling People Up to Clarify the Problem, Take Accountability and Build Alignment on Your Team
In this episode, Alex Dorr breaks down his favorite quotes and insights from Part 2 of How We Could. You'll learn practical ways to clean up your thinking, build real accountability across your team, and make sure people are in the right role for what the situation actually requires. This is part two of a three-part series digging into the sections of the book that didn't make the final cut, sharing Alex's exclusive insights to enrich your reading experience.
Pre-order How We Could for you and your team (official release date is September 22nd): https://www.realitybasedleadership.com/pre-order
Episode Highlights:
00:00:18 – Welcome and episode intro
00:01:42 – Recap of Part 1 and transition into Part 2
00:04:04 – Part 2 begins: calling people up to greatness
00:04:22 – Step two overview: cleaning up thinking
00:09:34 – Why the five-step sequence matters (the "secret sauce")
00:14:17 – Diving into clean thinking: ego, stories, and facts
00:20:24 – Step three: accounting for our part in the mess
00:24:41 – Breaking down accountability: account + ability
00:27:30 – Step four: knowing your role in the solution
00:34:05 – Non-negotiables, procedures, and avoiding burnout
121: How We Could Book Series Part 1: Love People Up - Sharing Favorite Insights and Quotes from My New Book
In this episode, Alex discusses his favorite quotes and insights from his new book, How We Could. He goes deeper into everything that influenced what he wrote about in Part 1 and why he thinks it's important for your leadership and your team. This is Part One of a 3-Part Book Series discussing the biggest breakthrough insights from each part of the new book, from Alex's perspective.
Pre-order How We Could for you and your team (official release date is September 22nd): https://www.realitybasedleadership.com/pre-order
Episode Highlights:
00:00:20 Welcome back and two weeks from the launch of How We Could
00:01:29 Why Alex decided to do a three-part series through the book
00:03:03 Certification event announcement for November 12th and 13th in Dallas
00:03:11 A leader's story of using the framework during a sudden team transition
00:09:01 Introducing Part One, Loving People Up, and the structure of the book
00:11:23 The difference between empathy and sympathy
00:16:37 The keys to validating someone's experience and being a soft place to land
00:20:17 How rushing to fix a problem robs someone of the chance to evolve
00:26:36 Every frustration holds a call to greatness
00:30:29 Wrap up and closing thoughts on Part One
About Reality-Based Leadership keynotes, trainings and workshops: Based on 25 years of delivering research and delivery of leadership development programs in top companies in the world, Reality-Based Leadership helps leaders and teams ditch the drama, restore sanity to the workplace and turn excuses into results. RBL's keynotes, workshops, leadership development programs, virtual courses, assessments and tools equip leaders to recapture the 2.5 hours per day the average person is spending in drama and put that energy back towards achieving goals and high employee engagement.
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