124: When to Move From Coaching to Performance Management as a Leader

Many leaders struggle with knowing when it is time to coach and when the issues they are experiencing with a team member have drifted into a performance issue that calls for performance management. In this episode, Alex Dorr, CEO of Reality Based Leadership, shares a Reality-Based approach to help you make that distinction, along with several tools to coach or manage performance based on the conversation you need to have.

Episode Highlights:

00:00:18 Why this episode: when to coach vs. manage performance

00:01:06 The dirty secret: the tools only work with the willing

00:03:40 When coaching works and when it doesn’t

00:05:28 The five-step process

00:06:46 Step 1: Diagnose story, relationship, or performance

00:11:40 Step 2: The Edit Your Story tool

00:14:07 Step 3: The Feedback Frame

00:19:43 Step 4: Seven performance conversation questions

00:21:51 The Performance Coaching Agreement

00:26:06 Final reflection: your next right conversation

Get your copy of How We Could for you and your teams today at:

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Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/How-Could-Framework-Alignment-Greatness/dp/B0GRWV76P5

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Barnes & Noble - https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-we-could-alex-dorr/1149680412?ean=9798886455168&utm_source=website&utm_medium=book_page&utm_campaign=how_we_could&utm_content=barnesandnoble

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Bookshop.org - https://bookshop.org/p/books/how-we-could-the-framework-to-lead-without-drama-build-alignment-and-call-teams-to-greatness-alex-dorr/d73c23906d4a61a0?ean=9798886455168&next=t?utm_source=website&utm_medium=book_page&utm_campaign=how_we_could&utm_content=bookshop
 

Books-A-Million - https://www.booksamillion.com/p/How-We-Could/Alex-Dorr/9798886455168?utm_content=bookshop

Here is a link to the tools mentioned in this podcast:
SBAR tool - https://info.realitybasedleadership.com/tool
Thinking Inside-the-Box tool - https://info.realitybasedleadership.com/box
Negative Brainstorming tool - https://youtu.be/AV6n69QCVnY?si=q7r_pglJsatIb-l2

Or grab all of the Toolkit tutorial videos, PDF and the new Call to Greatness Toolkit that accompanies the book here:
https://info.realitybasedleadership.com/greatness

In Part 3 of his How We Could Book Club Podcast Series, Alex Dorr shares his favorite quotes, insights, and lessons from the final section of his new book. In this episode, you'll learn three tools that help your team move forward productively even when facing resistance to change and uncertainty. It's a motivating listen for anyone looking to lead their team differently through ambiguity.

Episode Highlights:
00:01:25 - How the book took three years and is packed with real case studies
00:02:10 - Recap: the three parts of How We Could (loving up, calling up, answering the call)
00:04:26 - Introducing Part 3: answering the call to greatness
00:04:51 - Why fear is what really holds people back from taking action
00:07:07 - The three tools for next right action: SBAR, thinking inside the box, negative brainstorming
00:10:34 - When to use each tool
00:13:39 - Deep dive: how the SBAR cuts down workplace drama
00:19:30 - Deep dive: why "thinking inside the box" drives real innovation
00:22:39 - Deep dive: negative brainstorming and the Dr. Smith story
00:27:06 - Wrapping up Part 3 and celebrating the book launch

In this episode, Alex Dorr breaks down his favorite quotes and insights from Part 2 of How We Could. You'll learn practical ways to clean up your thinking, build real accountability across your team, and make sure people are in the right role for what the situation actually requires. This is part two of a three-part series digging into the sections of the book that didn't make the final cut, sharing Alex's exclusive insights to enrich your reading experience.

Pre-order How We Could for you and your team (official release date is September 22nd): https://www.realitybasedleadership.com/pre-order

Episode Highlights:

00:00:18 – Welcome and episode intro

00:01:42 – Recap of Part 1 and transition into Part 2

00:04:04 – Part 2 begins: calling people up to greatness

00:04:22 – Step two overview: cleaning up thinking

00:09:34 – Why the five-step sequence matters (the "secret sauce")

00:14:17 – Diving into clean thinking: ego, stories, and facts

00:20:24 – Step three: accounting for our part in the mess

00:24:41 – Breaking down accountability: account + ability

00:27:30 – Step four: knowing your role in the solution

00:34:05 – Non-negotiables, procedures, and avoiding burnout

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